What a Day!!!

So I met the fam yall!!!! Yeah it was a Christmas party where a good sizable portion of the fam was there. Including Mr. Dad! Whew talk about nervous. It was a semi formal event . . .and while I have been know to do my thang with that. . .I was still quite nervous to say the least. So for about 2 weeks prior to the event, I emailed a pic of the dress to my friends in STL to get their opinion. . . was this a cute dress, would I look plain or too much like a little girl, will my "girls" be showing too much. The consensus was to go with the less revealing dress for this meeting. So that worked. . .then I had to find new shoes . . . why new shoes. . . well the styles have changed since I wore the dress last and I needed something to make me feel fierce. So I went to Belk on a random Sunday afternoon and found a killer pair of peep toe pumps for only $29 (on clearance of course). . . I was SUPER CRUNK. My next task was my hair. I mean I can't rock the weaves (unless I can get my hair from the same place that Beyonce gets hers --- shout out to Jenn). . .And I had just tried a new stylist. But I made the appointment anyway and girlfriend hooked me up. I walked out of there like dang! Got my eyebrows waxed (for the 1st time, I used to let my hair stylist do them and she used a razor), got my nails did, my pedi. . . so I dressed up and was FIERCE honey!!!!
He was so impressed, so pleased, so shocked. . .to say the least. I mean we got a lot of compliments and I will have to say that we did look great. . . together even better!
The fam was great. Really down to earth (country) people. And things went well. . . much better than that actually. So we've made it past this killer step. His fam.
Next up. . .my fam. I mean the most "critical" person is my cousin Kim and he's won her over and she hasn't even met him yet. . . so we'll see!
BTW. . . I am down 5lbs. . .to my 10 lbs goal by 1/13/08. . . Smooches!

Another day. . .

Not much is happening new/different from my last post. I mean things are still going well with my "baby boy" (shout out to Jendi. . .I like that phrase, I think I'll use it). I mean things are still going GREAT. Progressing every day, every week . . . so we'll see. It's hard though. I mean just last night, he said to me. . .let's do dinner tomorrow. . .my response was. . . don't you have to do something at church? Simple right. No big deal. . . but it was a big deal. One of my friend's husbands told me a while ago and more recently that me and his wife (my dear line sister) are just alike. When asked a question, we answer the question with a question. And men are simple, don't want a lot of details, and don't necessarily want to be hounded with a lot of questions. But to me, I just wanted clarification. Is anything wrong with that. . . I mean gosh. We didn't have an argument but I did sense a little frustration on his part. His response. . . I got this. . .my bad dude. . .do what you do. I'll just take my free dinner date!!! Shoot, I like to eat out ANYWAY! LOL!
Work is going well. There are still some changes within the dept and one of them may be a position for me. . .I'll keep ya posted.
So I started my FAT SMASH, COLON CLEANSE, 10lb weight loss goal officially today. I'm doing a combination of things to "jump start" or kick through this plateau. I mean when I set the 10 lb goal, coincidentally, when I got on the scale the next day I was already down 4 from where I thought I was. . . so does that count. I mean yes last week was Thanksigiving. But I didn't pig out, I never do, I mean I didn't exercise either but I think I'm still cool. I am doing a colon cleanse to help a little bit. Not one of those super duper ones where you see floating things/bugs/nasty stuff. . .just a simple one .. .it's mostly fiber and senna. And while I haven't been "going" all day long, I feel it working. Flatulence is off the hook (if you really wanted to know). So I'll be doing the 9 day Detox of the Fat Smash diet & the colon cleanse until Tuesday of next week. Wish me luck, I hope I can make it. I can usually do well during the week, it's the weekends that kill me. But if I mess up too bad, my exercise regimen should help out a bit. I"ll let you know how it goes!
Tonight though I'm going to have to get a salad. I"m not really one of those who do the salad thing to be cute. . .but hey I gotta try to stick to my guns!!!!

8 Weeks - 10 lbs????

Okay so exactly 8 weeks to the day I'll be on a cruise with some other fly sistas. And while my exercise/weight loss regimen is working. I wanna up the ante for myself. Scientific research shows that on average a person can lose ~2 lbs per week healthily. So 10 lbs in 8 weeks takes 2 major food holidays into consideration. And honestly the holidays have never really been a big issue for me b/c I'm not a big soul food eater. I mean I'll dabble . . . but I don't particularly look forward to the dry turkey, stuffing, etc. I mean don't get me wrong when I had Tgiving dinner w/ my girl from New Orleans she took things to a whole 'nother level. But I have been able to maintain and honestly lose during the holiday season.
So I went to Talbots the other day b/c it was an outlet store and I wanted to see if they had some work slacks that I could consider taking home. But instead I saw a couple of skirts. So I tried to play the. . .let's see what fits game. . . I took in a size 10 and a size 12. Now people let's take into consideration that I don't remember the last time I've EVER tried on a size 10 w/ a str8 face. So I tried it one. . .over the thighs, over the stomach. . . huh.. . go figure. I could rock this. . .probably not 'comfortably' as I'd like but I could if it was the last one in the store. So that's triggered my motivation. I would love to say that I'm a size 10 or even a size 8. (If I'm down to a size 8 just go ahead and start rolling your eyes b/c you won't be able to tell me nutin' and that's WORD). But I was really happy and have a renewed motivation. So much that I went to the gym at my apt complex and did 30 min on the elliptical. I mean I will be "spinning" tomorrow. . .but this is gonna be a short week. And not to mention my spinning instructor told me to try adding ~30 min of cardio prior to the class. . . now that's committment b/c that adds time to my schedule. But for 8 weeks I can give it a try.
So my fellow avid blog readers. . .wish me luck. The last time I lost 10 lbs in a month was about 2 years ago and I wrote down EVERYTHING that I ate and counted every calorie religiously. So it's completely doable. I'll tell my sweetie my goal. He'll probably be all over me about it. . .it's all about accountability. So if I get my 2 readers, him, my spinning instructor involved. . .something should happen right. (So maybe I should hold off on getting those pants altered. . .just in case ;)

Time Flies. . .

So it's been a minute. . . a new month. So it's time for me to say suntin'.
Things are going quite well in the QC. My job is going great. I've gotten excellent feedback from my supervisors, directors, etc. Which is always a good thing.
I'm about to renew my lease for 6 more months. I'm not really in the mood to go "househunting" again. I feel like I just moved. Even though I didn't have to pack a thing when I moved out here but still. . . it takes mental stamina.
Things with Mr. Man are going great. I'm happy to report. I think that's a contributing factor for things going well in the QC. He actually lives in a suburb of Charlotte so we don't get to see each other every second of every free minute that we have. Which is a good thing? (Makes the heart grow fonder) But it does infringe on my phone time. I mean back in the day I would sit on the phone listening to you breathe all night long. But now I'm like you're tired, cool, me too. . .holla at me tomorrow. No harm no foul. I'm mean I'm all for a good quality conversation. It's partly b/c of my job. I'm regularly paged or called for something. So the ringing of the phone gets on my last nerve. Tonight I met his daughter (his new puppy. . .lol). We bonded in case you were wondering. I think she gave her stamp of approval. Next comes the fam. Whew it's a lot. It's a different scenario now that I'm back in NC. I mean while in STL a man could technically hide out from my friends and family for a good 6 mos to a year. But both sides are asking questions and both sides are like aight. . .bring 'em out bring 'em out! I'll let you know.
Tomorrow is my BFF from HS's wedding/cruise/weekend. We're supposed to go to the Bahamas. But with all this hurricane madness who knows where we'll stop. Oh well. I've got my books, my bible, my journal, my IPOD, and my sunglasses. . .so I'm ready to relax. Shoot we could stay on the boat for the entire 3 days . . .as long as I can relax and have some good ol' chill time. I'm cool!
Tootles!

My Weekend/Week

Not much has been going on lately. I've been hanging out with Mr. Man a bit more. That's actually going really well right now. I'll keep you posted.
I went to a bridal shower this past weekend. It was a last minute shower and I think some of the communications from the bride weren't clear enough. We all have expectations of what we "want" when it's our turn. But if you have never in your entire life communicated this information to those you love then . . .beggars can't be choosy. I mean I did the girly stuff that I'm known for and it was a big hit. . . (of course ;). . . but the things done by her mother weren't received too well and I think she was a bit frustrated.
So from this point forward I'm going to recommend to all my friends that when it comes to your wedding. . .say EXACTLY what you mean and mean EXACTLY what you say.
Went to a Ruby Tuesday for the first time in ages this past Friday. It was a last minute quick stop, we weren't really dressed in our best so we were like we can run in here w/o any problems. Man they have this dish called the Chicken Bella. . .it was great. I was really pleasantly surprised.
I also went to see Why Did I Get Married on Thursday. I mean I was really impressed. I knew I was going to like it but I had no idea that I'd like it that much. I mean I laughed, I cried (got misty), cheered, got pissed, pondered. . I mean those few hours evoked so many emotions. Kinda felt like we were a part of all the relationships. Which one of the characters would you be? Honestly I think I'm the Janet character. I mean I would say Jilly from Philly b/c of the weight thing (I still have issues that I had to be reminded weren't mine to have but I still felt like I needed to stick up for the big girl inside of me). Who would you be?

Thoughts

This is probably going to reflect responses and more comments to my avid readers. . .

Jenn Will. . . Ummm . . .can we get an update or something? I mean if I see Sept 18th on ur blog again I may scream.

J.A.C. . .who is Thesis. He is an avid reader and responder on your blog. Just an observation. Does he live in the QC too? When are you moving? The ATL vs. CLT debate. Both are equally great places to be right now. It's moreso what you're looking for. ATL is getting a bit crowded and traffic will be similar (maybe not as bad) as LA. But the atmosphere has evolved and it's doing it's thing. CLT is still a baby city---it's new and is rising to its peak. Exciting place to be right now. It's changed a lot within the last 2-3 years. And it doesn't seem to have been affected by the mortgage crisis, there is still a steady stream of people coming in and out of the city.

So I got the book that the girl who writes -B-More Bap- recommended. "Get Yours" It's by the previous editor in chief of Honey magazine. And while I was the first to buy and put down some Iyanla Vanzant stuff back in the day (I just couldn't finish not a one of her books), this one by Amy Dubois Barnett is a bit different. MUCH easier to read. Not about the philosophical principles behind decisions. But more of a . . .this is what worked for me. And it was pretty good advice so she decided to share it. Easy read. I like it. And I'm probably going to give it as a gift to a few people in the next few mos.

I guess an update is necessary about Mr. Minister man. Okay so I've gone out with him. Put on a cute 'fit. . .lip gloss poppin'. . .and my wall up (I'm trying to get out of that habit). But he is/was determined to knock that thing down. At the end of the day, my hang ups weren't his and probably weren't warranted. Are we going out, laughing like crazing, talking on the regular. . .yeah. . . it's cool to be on an poppin again. So we'll see, you know that first 6 weeks are "honeymoon" times. Everything is cool, we're on our best behavior. And I know you're going to say, don't expect or look for the worst. But I am trying to be realistic in my expectations. Just living & loving life for what it has for me and all the possibilities! That's all!

Well it's my weekend to work, so I'll be MIA until Monday or so. I was supposed to respond to the emails about the workouts. Mine are still going strong. Spinning, jogging . . . just added so weights back. I HATE weights. If I could do cardio all day I would. But I know that's not realistic. I am trying to fit a "B-Risque" class into my routine. You know, learn a little pole dancing technique while strengthing my core. I need a fun class to add to my routine. I'm looking for a dance class maybe, but I don't know where to start.

Me. . .With Him?

So the latest version of my saga called life now includes a new guy. Nothing serious, just talk. But from the beginning I convinced myself over and over again as to the reasons why this guy is not for me. I'll start with a few of the majors:
He's 25.
He lives in a small town about 20-30 min from Charlotte, his hometown, and ain't planning to go anywhere.
He's seriously looking for a wife.
He's a MINISTER. . .
The last one is the one that's got me bugging. I mean we all want a man of "like minded faith." That head of household, the man who knows God well enough to find you, you know that man that the Bible talks about. But at the end of the day. . .could you do it, could you date someone who thus far (as I can see it) is committed to HIM. I mean, no clubs, no "sips" of Patron, church almost everyday of the week. . .you get the point.
It's a lot and honestly a bit overwhelming when we had the first convo. I had crossed him off the list.
But then. . .he called back. . .repeatedly. At work today (oh yeah he has a job) proceeded to come into my "office space" 2 or 3 times just to chat, as I'm leaving we pass each other, I do my normal "2 fingers" and he's like hold on. No pressure points with any of this. . .just enough to think, maybe I shouldn't write him off before I give him a chance.
I just thought it was interesting. I had to "check" myself about my actions. I mean to any other chick, dude is probably a good catch. So I'm gonna do better. Not have the stank attitude, not send his calls to voicemail. Just pray for me yall.

'Da Weekend

So it's the weekend and there is/was a lot of things going on in Charlotte. It's times like these that I realize that I need a "roadie." You know the one who you can call and she's always down. Unfortunately for me I don't really have that here in the QC. So last night Raheem Devaughn was in town so I was crunk about going. But I didn't have ANYBODY to call and say hey do you wanna roll. And I wasn't really in the mood to do it solo. Sometimes, but not yet! What do you do in that situation? Should I have sucked it up and gone alone? So I called one of my girlfriends who's married with a baby and asked did they want to go to dinner. You know. . .let's just get out of the house on a Friday night. Her solution was for me to leave my house/couch/DVR to come over to her house, sit on her couch, and catch up on their DVR. . . ummm. . .thx for the invite, but really no thanx. That wasn't exactly what I looking for. I need just one. One who doesn't always wanna tear the club up, but can go to a chill spot, have a drink, listen to some music and just be cute! That's all I wanted to do. . .
Thursday night I tried hanging with some girls of another color. . . Hannah is cool as a cat. But her friends. .. NAW DAWG!!! So Hannah invited me to her house for drinks, dinner and Grey's Anatomy. Cool no biggie. When I showed up at the door, the look of sheer horror that one of her friends had on her face made me realized that I should have kept my booty at home. I think she was so shocked to see me, not that she was rude or anything but her comfort level was evident in her body language. Oh well, maybe one day Hannah and I can hang out sometimes but she may need to refrain from bringing a few others.
I mean I'm multicultural and can roll w/ pretty much anyone, but I need you to be the same way. Unfortunately, everyone isn't there yet.
I think I'm going to put an ad in the newspaper or on craig's list for a new friend. The one who's not into one particular thing. Likes to try new stuff, do some of the norm, roll to the fish shack for catfish, Brio for bellini's & lobster bisque, cop that new Kanye joint, sing loud to Chrisette, shake her booty like 'B, pump that new Jay. . . I think you get the point!!!!

FAB-U-LOUS!

So this week I've had the opportunity (???) to reconnect with several past classmates, schoolmates etc. And I'm realizing as my "still true" friend from HS pointed out. . .it's okay to outgrow relationships. You don't have to feel bad for the sudden lapse in communication and you're not obligated to keep in touch when you do see them again.
So this past weekend I bit the bullet and visited a girl who I used to be really close to. But within the past I'll say 2-3 years we have grown apart. At this vist I realized why we no longer talk. It was the "air" about her as if she was steadily putting others down to put herself on or reach a pedestal. I mean everything I mentioned or suggested was shot down. And it seemed to me that I was only allowed in her presence 1) b/c I no longer live there, 2) live in the city of her dreams, 3) am a professional & 4) b/c she liked my car. Now I am not one to look down on myself at all and I do realize that my life is not the norm. But with that realization I know that things could have gone another way. And me looking down on others will do nothing for me. It's not my responsibility to try to change anyone if they are perfectly happy with their lives.
Second situation, so at my reunion, this dude from HS kept saying. . .dayum u look good, etc etc. . .(Thanks ;)) But ummm. . .no thanks. I"m not really interested in what you're offering up. 1st of all 3 kids, no wife, (nuff said). 2nd of all. . . did yall just go outside to smoke some weed. . . Okay you get the picture. But as result of writing my email down to update everyone's files, I got a random, wassup email from this dude today. . . Lord Lord Lord.
Okay so I finally succumbed to myspace and I've been quite pleased to be able to keep in contact with several old friends and acquaintances. But recently it seems like myspace has caught on in Eastern NC so I'm getting all these random "friend requests" from people who I never considered my friend. Ummm. . .are you serious? It moreso those being nosy b/c my page is "private" and only viewed by those that I add. But this girl who I have NEVER gotten along with sent me a message. . .come on now. . .be for real. Why? Let's not even go there. But I did get a message from this girl who I was always cool with, no harm no foul, so I let her in, and she was like girl you look Fab-u-lous (hence the title of this message). Thanks!!!!
My weekend all in all was as to be expected. Did I have a GREAT time, I can't say that. But it was what I expected it to be. . .I mean should you really have high expectations when it's a BYOB affair at a location named The Banquet Room, b/c there is no official name of the building. Just an old club that they rent out now. Oh well!
North Edgecombe High School of Science Math & Technology helped me to become all that I am! So hey I still gotta have a little Warrior Pride!

WOW

http://renaissanceblackwoman.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-letter-to-lauryn.html

I saw her in concert once and it was truly AWESOME! She has a gift. I mean she was all over that stage.

Just thoughts. . .

So exercise affords me the opportunity to let things dance around in my head. So while in spinning yesterday, I was thinking about how much fun it was to go to the gym. .. in St Louis. Why is that, isn't Ballys still Ballys. So I started to think on my time there and what's different. When it hit me, things weren't always that way.
My 1st year in STL I was a pharmacy resident making about 1/4 of my salary now, with numerous projects/responsibilities and also working part time to make some more $$$. So that first year, I mostly worked, went to church, went to the gym here and there, had some Delta responsibilities, and traveled a bit more back and forth to the east coast.
Right after my residency, I bought a house. What did this do. . make me sit my happy tail down in the Midwest a bit more and grounded me a whole lot more. I think that's when I started developing my "crews" and I think I had a steady man in my life. Yeah that was Mr. . . well his name's no longer important. But he was a native of 'da 'Lou and knew the ins and outs, dos and don'ts so we did a lot of things. Gave me an appreciation for the MO and being there, etc.
Yeah I think a man definitely helps you settle into a new city. While I do have friends here in CLT, things have changed, we don't all like to do the same things and I'm not always excited about going out by myself. I mean there is no one waiting/expecting me at the gym. No class (other than spinning) that I look forward to. Just a building with some bikes and good music. No one is waiting for me on Saturday morning to go on a long run. . . so maybe that's why I turn the alarm clock off and roll over.
Last night there was a spoken word thing down in the NoDa district. I thought that would be cool, but I was thinking that none of the people who I've hung out with or talked to have mentioned this. Why don't they go? Just wondering, well I wasn't in the mood to do the solo thing so I kicked back here at the crib and chilled. It's okay to do sometimes, right.
So I said all that to say that my thoughts in the gym were good. It's okay to not have my social calendar jammed packed S-Sat. It took me 4 years to get all that in STL so why am I expecting so much more within 4 months. I actually sat down and wrote out a time line of the past 4 years. Truth be told, I didn't do much out of the norm for well over a year and a half after I graduated.
I related this to my generation and how we want things RIGHT NOW. Can't wait. Gotta have the big furnished house like our parents/grandparents had. Not realizing it took them 20-30 years to have that themselves (some of them). Gotta have the big body truck like they have, when hell they're almost 10 years older than us. Gotta have that huge savings accout for retirement (I mean it's important to save) but you gotta eat too.
So things are still good! It's okay! So yeah the man will come. I don't have to move out of my apartment tomorrow ( I only did a 6 month lease in anticipation for buying another house, but right now I just don't feel like it--I LOVE my location, just gotta get rid of the guy across the parking lot, too dang loud), and I don't have to go to every happy hour, party, or social event in Charlotte. I've got plenty of time.

Back. . n full effect?. . .

So V is back on the grind. It was GREAT to be away last week. I only went to STL to visit but I didn't take a thing related to work or "real life" with me. I took 3 books, some magazines, and planned to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. And I did just that.
Today being back in reality was a huge wake up call. At 9am I had to step away from the computer, go get some breakfast, take a walk, pray, and regroup. MAN! I almost made a "huge" mistake at work but prayerfully everything worked out. But I hate that feeling.
But I did realize that I didn't particularly "want" to be at work today. Have u ever wondered if you could be one of those people who just walk away from their jobs and everything just because. I mean still be able to pay some bills, but take some true true true "ME" time. My job doesn't exactly provide that right now. I mean at ESI the flexibility that I had allowed me to really enjoy my last year and a half in 'da Lou. Flex schedules are the absolute BOMB. They don't exist so much in pharmacy and I was very spoiled to have found one at such an early age. But to everything there is a season right.
I mean I prayed and asked for guidance about my move. And it's been confirmed over and over again that . . . it was time. I mean little things like selling my house when NOTHING else in my neighborhood was selling, finding a company to come move me. . .for free (I mean send people to come pack everything and drive it here), the financial blessings that I'm experiencing, less financial stress, being closer to the fam (my mom doesn't call nearly as much, I think she's much more comfy with me being at least in the same state or on the east coast). So I'm just chilling right now, waiting and keeping a watchful eye for what's next to come.
I think about all the fabulous things that are going on in my friends' lives right now. And it's truly amazing. I brag about them all the time. I mean really I have had the opportunity to interact and bump heads with some for real good people. I mean from the West, MidWest, East, South. . . man my friends have it going on. . .
I'd like to think that they feel the same way about me. I was telling one of my pharmacy friends tonight that she's is my personal HIV/ID specialist. I was like girl you have done the dang thing. She was like ummm. . .don't sell urself short. Don't forget what you've done. I did for a minute. But she's right. Professionally, I think I have that Jay Z swagger. I usually have the "show me what you got" attitude!
I just need to show the social side a bit more in Charlotte. . . but it's pretty dang hard if you're hardly ever here on the weekends. Man I gotta stay put sometimes.
This weekend I have to work, next weekend gotta go to my class reunion, the next weekend the fam wants me to go to DC, then the next is Adrienne's b-day party in Durham. . . I sound like I have a social calendar of some sort. . . WHEW. . . it's a lot going on. Oh well gotta make it do what it do!

28. . . WHEW!

So tomorrow's the BIG DAY! 28. . .whew Lord. I thank you that I'm so fabulous at that age! Erry'body can't say that.

So today at work, the technicians and a few pharmacists got together and sang Happy Birthday to me. . .Why is that weird? Umm I've only been there a little over 90 days, they don't do that for anyone else. . .But hey can I help it if I"m a genuinely nice person who talks to EVERYBODY! I don't have a clique. I'm not really into all that drama. I'm here to work, not find an enemy. What good would that do at the place where I spend most of my time.

The same things happened at my last job. When all the techs and pharmacists got together to give me a party. It's kinda an unspoken rule that techs are cool with techs and pharmacists only deal with pharmacists. But why is that. We all work in the same cramped space. We're all working together to get the job done, meds to the patient, the nurse off my phone or pager, and the doctor out of my ear. It's bananas.

The way I see it, is I've worked too hard to be the person and pharmacist that I am to fit into any type of mold or stereotype. I'm the same ghetto chick who will read YBF, Concreteloop, or Mediatakeout everyday, do the Soulja Boy at the drop of a dime, listen to Chrisette Michele, come to work with a Vera Bradley bag (by the way the clearance sale is tomorrow in Charlotte, wear my Tiffany necklace, get my Starbucks tall coffee with toffee nut, drive SiLexi, live Uptown Charlotte, like John Mayer (waiting on the world yall), True TarHeel born & bred, toilet paper a tree after a Duke/UNC game, give a killer presentation/interview, whatever, PharmD. . .but still str8 up from Hot Whitakers, NC. . .Don't try to put me in a mold. . . I won't fit! I'm telling you!

Man

So I haven't/hadn't really found a church "home" since I've been in Charlotte. So last night I went to a bible study at this church. . .it was cool, not like the 'Ark' in STL but cool. So I'm sitting there and I get a phone call from my girl Erica in STL. Send her a txt back to say hey in church, wassup. . . she responds that our mutual good/great friend Crystal's ex-boyfriend committed suicide. WTF? Oooops am I supposed to say that in church. So of course I want to run out and get details, call Crystal, b/c I know she's a mess. But I stay thinking the entire time what could make someone do such a thing.
So as the story/news articles go. . .he drove to a gun shop right before 1pm, rented a gun, then shot himself in the head.
So in my mind, I am like what could possibly happen. Now I never met this dude, but have heard soooooooo much about him. From what I can gather, he was always very "extra" but had it truly going on. A 28 yo male with a 6-figure income, no kids, designer clothes, sexy for day, girls always at his feet. . .pretty much what we're usually looking for, right? But on a Wednesday afternoon after lunch, he decided he couldn't take it anymore, that he had lived long enuf. Come on. . .I can't put my mind to understand it. So now you leave ur family and friends wondering "what if." The news website said there was a note, but I read a book (fiction of course) where someone committed suicide and all she said was that she'd had enuf.
As a result, all day I've been reaching out to people trying to let them know and understand how I am there for them. I think it's as simple as sending an email to say hey I'm thinking about you. . or talking to my new Fitness Club. . .who knew!
I mean I know I have a great life, there have been many ups and downs, good and bad. I just always try not to take for granted what I have been blessed with and remember that it could always have been the other way!

Why Now . . .

So there's this guy. . . Mr. Unpredictable quite honestly. Been a friend (for real just that) for over a year now. He's hinted at wanting something more but never expressed it full out. Strangely enuf when I was in the process of moving from STL there were a number of people who assumed that once I was gone it would all come out and he'd be on a different mission. And truth be told. . .right now he kinda is. None of them know that. . . can't make it look like they were right. Not like hard core oooh I miss you wanna be with you etc etc etc. But the approach has been different, the comments more direct, the babies more frequent yada yada yada. . . And the approach isn't the typical I'm trying to see if I still have the same effect kind of thing. More subtle b/c I am very negative and I'm quick to say . .. uh huh sure. . whatever. . . okay yeah all that!
My question is where is all this coming from? Why now that I live 13 hrs away? Why not then when I was only 15 minutes away? Should I be bitter that he waited all this time? Do I put him through a number of tests to see where you're coming from? Are you for real? Who knows. . . I tell ya I just don't understand.

No Work. . .

So I'm off work today. Gotta get my car serviced, detailed, etc. They had to finish up a few things that came with the whip. So I have a loaner RX350. I'm actually happy that I decided against their crossover SUV b/c it's not my thing. I mean I LOVE the GX series, but that sucka is huge. I'm quite happy with my SiLexi.
I need to go looking for a dining set today. I guess it's been 3 months without one and I need it. . . not for food. . .but moreso for scrapbooking purposes. I have tooooooo many pictures from this past 6 mos that need to be put into an album. And the number of pictures is only stacking up with each event.
This is my weekend to work . . . and I'll be working with a bunch of lame-os. None of the peeps that I chat with while at work. So I gotta remember to take my IPOD. I mean they have the radio streaming from online, but it's gonna be weird with these people that I have to work with.
So the fam is off to Florida. Evan is playing in an AAU bball tourney in Orlando. My mother went with my cousin, husband, and kids. I wish I could go on a vacation. But I guess with a cruise scheduled for November, then another one in January, I should be cool. . . I will be going back to STL in Sept. I have a lot of "loose ends" people to see, places to go, food to eat. . . all that stuff. I mean you would think I would be able to find catfish in NC. . . but I guess we need to be near a river. It's so crazy b/c when I got to STL I was like this place is weird. BUT man it was home for 4 years! Go figure!

An old. . . 'friend'

http://www.tmz.com/2007/08/06/jermaines-ex-hes-cheap-and-creepy/

She hit me. . . my neck and my back!!!!!

Should I?

So for the past year or so, probably a little over a year. . . I've contemplated twice growing out my relaxer. The first time I decided not to I was in STL, working out 4-5 times a week, and my beautician was like no. . . I wasn't sure if it would cut into her cashflow or if she was being sincere that I wouldn't want to deal with that. So I let it go. . . but I kept the thought in my head. So my friend Rhonda has a "fro" of some sort for almost 2 years and FINALLY got that mess pressed. . .it looked great. Healthy, not too long, not too short, but really cute for her! So the thoughts surfaced again. Then one day in the beauty salon . ..while I'm getting my relaxer nonetheless. . .I hear this chick talking about this product called Miss Jessies out of NYC. So at home I look it up, looks interesting but the website ain't working so I can order it. . .ghetto. But I do see it listed in magazines like Essence, Ebony, etc a few times after that.
So yesterday morning, why I don't know. . . I get up and decide to look up Miss Jessie's again. . . I have no clue why! So as I'm perusing her website and places where to go in CLT to get it, I run across several "natural" promoting sites! And the salon where I decided to venture to does this stuff on the regular and they specifically mention transition styles. So I'm like transition stuff. . . voila! Wow what can they offer, okay I'll go see what they say. B/c as much as I want to stop the relaxers. . . I ain't trying to cut all my hair off.
So I go to the salon and this very nice dreaded man explains all my options. It was like I was interviewing him. . .I mean hey this is serious stuff. He said that in the mean time inbetween time (meaning when my natural hair catches up to a reasonable length that most people do a lot of straw sets, roller sets, flat twists, or two strand nappy twists (w/ extensions) in my case. . . so my question is . . .How would I look? I mean I don't work at a Fortune 500 company anymore so I don't have to "play that game." I work in a hospital and within the next year I'm not really looking to make any "major" career jumps. So in essesnse that gives me ~9 mos to try "something new." As I was researching online I noticed that SEVERAL woman stated that they had gone natural 2 or 3 times within their past life. So I'm wondering. . .should I try it before I hit 30. . . would it be such a bad thing. I mean I am in "the next ATL" . . .so I'm sure I'll be received quite well!
So for my 2 friends who'll read this more than likely. . . holla at cha girl!

Tagged! I knew it was coming!

So here we go:
The Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So this is my 2nd time, I did this and dag on deleted it by mistake. . .so this one might be as good as it was a minute ago!

1. I am a creature controlled by schedules. In STL I had a for real routine. I knew what time I was gonna get up, what time I needed to leave home to be a the gym. . . But when something throws my routine/schedule off. . .it irks the crap out of me! I am not a late person so I'm not very understanding to those who are never on time. I just don't get it!
2. I LOVE the gym. It just does something to me. I'm definitely not one of those buff cut up girls who lift every day. But if it's a class that I enjoy. . .ie step or spinning. . .I am there without a doubt. In STL I was in the gym 4-5 times a week, but in CLT I just can't get my routine down. I'm currently at Ballys but the Y is where its at in CLT. (Men playing basketball). . .but the Y is so damn expensive. Maybe I can just hang out in the parking lot, looking sweaty!!!!
3. I can flip it on you in a minute! Don't come at me "sideways" as I've been told. I may be the sweetest loving girl you've ever met, but the minute that you piss me off, come at me wrong, underestimate me, insult me. . . you get the point. . . all bets are off! Many a men have been "cut" as a result of a slip.
4. I'm a GAW-Grown Ass Woman. I don't have time for games. This is life and I have things to do. Either you're with me or you're not. Either get on the bus or step aside. So many in NC are used to the person that I was 4 years ago just graduating from college. So it's an adjustment for them to see/understand me. I basically grew up in STL. As I was telling my homeboy last night, my attitude is basically you can deal with me or leave me alone. I don't have time to baby sit/coax another should be GAW or GAM!
5. I love UNC. Everything about it. From the exit sign off Hwy 40, to the Dean Dome, the Student Stores, Franklin street. The mere mention of the place just does something to me. I'm like a kid in a candy store. I mean I did spend 6 years there but MAN I had the time of my life. Learned alot, met a lot of people. . .I think going there was probaby one of the best decisions I've made in my life.
6. I will talk to anyone. I'm not sure where this came from. Maybe it was all the summers spent away from the fam--be it in DC with my uncle or summer camps during HS. But I can honestly say that if we're in the same place for an extended period of time, I'm not just going to sit in there and look at you. My friend Crystal says that I'll talk to a tree. It's amazing what type of person you can be on the elliptical machine next to at the gym, who else is buying those Boca Burgers, or who's looking at the same outfit in a different color. It's part of the reason why I went to STL knowing 2 people, but I had over 90 people invited to my going away dinner! Go figure! Not bad for a 'lil ol' country girl.
7. Sincerity is key! I don't care if it's the worst thing that you could ever say to me. As long it's the sincere truth. You ain't got to lie Craig. . .You ain't got to lie! I can't stand fakers, liars, and mostly . . .lying men. It's okay to be direct with me b/c more than likely you're going to get it back. It goes back to that coming at me wrong thing. . . once you come at me wrong. . .all bets are off. There is this "troll" at work (I didn't give her the nickname, but found it most appropriate), she's an older pharamcist, been at this hospital probably 100 years or so. . . and she's finding it difficult to recognize the skillz of a young female. . . I'm trying not to say black (but I'm investigating, the verdict is still out). . . and she is very sneaky and it's like she's waiting for me to fail. She's not a direct supervisor, but someone that I will have to work with. My thing is please don't come in here smiling, if you can't say anything nice just shut up. I'm cool with you doing what you do and I'll do what I do. Our paths don't have to cross more than they need too!
8. I LOVE corn on the cob. (I just reread that something needed to be random). My friend Meechy will tell you in a heartbeat that my eyes light up when I see some. Her fiance made some in May, he spread some tangy little sauce on them bad boys, and put them on the grill! MAN. I was SUPERCRUNK! Who knew that a little sauce would make them pop like that. I really love GOOD food, not just corn on the cob. I struggle every day to no eat what I REALLY want to eat and make wise decisions. I'm getting better at it. It's even harder being back in NC. I didn't have this much access to a free standing Chick Fil A, a Bojangles chicken biscuit or a wing dinner, or a biscuit for breakfast. Even at the hospital. . . you know the place where people come to get healthy. . . you should see the stuff they serve, smothered in gravy, fried, drowning in butter. . . it's a lot. . ..but I digress. . .maybe I'll save this info for the next assignment!

Okay Jenn I'm done, I did my part, but I don't have anymore friends who blog! I asked my friend James and he was like umm no I work. . .he's lying he works at Microsoft so you know. . . so I think it's gonna stop with me! But I did do it. . .it was just a lot to think about!

My new boo!!!

Meet SiLexi!!!! We met last Thursday evening. I stopped in on whim b/c I usually don't go out looking to meet and greet! But it was love at first site. One of her friends tried to get with me . . . a white one. . .but I met her and I just knew it was meant to be. So we thought about each other over the weekend and decided this morning . . .that TODAY would be the first day of our future together!