Long Time No See!!!

I know it's been a minute. . .and my faithful "few" readers probably have stopped checking. . .but just charge it to my head and not my heart. I still check everyone else's blogs all the time. . .but just haven't sat down to update my own. I haven't even been writing in my journal. . . so I'm tryna get things back together. . .

So let's see what's been going on! 1st off I have been sooooooo tired. . .my job has/had put such a stress/strain on me that I was feeling like I was in that hospital 24 hours a day, and all 7 days a week. This week was especially crazy b/c it was a full moon. . .and for those in health care who've never paid attention, do so next time. People lose it with a full moon. . . It's bananas! But alas. . . thanks to my God who answers prayers. . . today I got a brand new job offer! Yes sirree I applied for a transfer within the system to the rehabilitation center (right next door to the hospital) and got the offer today. It's amazing b/c it was just last week that I visited, and went for a casual/impromptu. . .that turned out to be an interview chat with the pharmacy director and got the call from the corporate recruiter today. AWESOME. What this means to me. . . NO NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS LIKE BEFORE. Well technically. . . specifically I will be back to my 10 hours days (ie 4 days per week) with every 7th weekend I'll be on call for some dosing. Which requires about 2-3 hours out of your day on that weekend! I am HYPED yall! I mean don't get me wrong, I loved inpatient, excelled at it, gained a lot of knowledge in IV drugs and Critical Care (ie. . .ICU/Trauma/Surgery etc) but the schedule was killing my poor body. Not to mention that I have a man who is a minister who wants me with him --- particularly on Sundays. So it was literally starting to feel like I worked 6 days per week b/c my Sundays have been no longer mine. No more going to the early service, out to eat, then back home by 1, then taking a 2-3 hours nap, then eating dinner about 6/7, with my hot bath/relax time that night. . . Naw Dawg!!! GONE!!!! And we're not even married yet (. . . yep I said yet ;). . . so I ain't there for everything. JESUS. . . I just have to remember that your grace is sufficient. At least this professional change will help. I was quite shocked at how understanding my director/manager were. I say honesty is the best policy, so I was up front with them from the very beginning. . .and as a result. . .they helped me find/support what's best for Vicki! So I'm excited.

My love life is great. . .we're settling in to our routines. He's still blowing my mind. It's so crazy how even the smallest things make me grin so hard. One day, we went to the park to walk the dog, saw some swings and decided to try them out, then went for ice cream. . . I was like Man this is a freakin' movie! I'm staring in my very own love story!

So it will be a month with me being in Charlotte on May 7th. Can you believe it? I mean time flew. But all in all the QC has been what it's cracked/hyped up to be. . .at least for me anyway. I feel blessed to have been led and heard God's direction for my life. I'm truly ecstatic about the future. Not sure of all it has to offer me, but hey I'm open!

LOL. . .

So you noticed that I left out the details of my V-Day. . . It was truly wonderful. I mean who knew that you could be treated like this.
So we went to dinner. . .a surprise b/c I had no clue. . .to the House of Jazz here in the QC. It was a nice place and they had a select menu that evening for this special day. So we sat amongst other couples, young and old. . .looking good. . fresh and fly! So we're talking having a great time and I'm a little upset b/c I got a "gag" gift. . . that I didn't like. I tried to be the little sweet girlfriend who is okay with anything. . .but I couldn't hold it in. So he's fiddling around and saying I can't believe u didn't like ur gift. I'm like it's okay, dinner is expensive, the flowers all that. . . it's really okay. I'm trying to console him and he's laughing inside at me. So I'm minding my own business and look away. . .and Voila. . .what do I see. A little Blue box!

***Side Bar***NO IT WAS NOT A RING***

But it was a necklace from that wonderful store. Girl that lady beside us was like how long have you two been married? We were like ummm. . . negative. She was like well sista girl you must be doing something right if you already got Tiffanys!!!!

I was HIZZYPE!!! To say the least. It was a great day. Good conversation, good food, good company, GREAT man.

I might actually start looking forward to this holiday.

Happenings. . .

When was the last time that I blogged. . .when was the last time that I wrote in my journal. Life has just been happening. And I've been caught up in it. . .blowing in and out like the wind. Can you believe it's almost spring? I'm so excited. Excited to say that though it was colder here than I'd like, it sure wasn't the Midwest winter that I dreaded so much. So many holidays. So much family time.

So I celebrated Valentine's Day for the first time in ummm. . . 3 years. . . WOW. That's a long time isn't it. The last V-day I celebrated I was dating a guy who worked 3rd shift. . .so there was actually no V-Day celebration on V-Day. So when this year rolled around and it wasn't even a question as to if we'd be together. . .that morning I woke up in a tizzy. So I had gotten a gift. . but forgot about the ding dang card, forgot to put in something red, white, or pink, forgot candy (do guys do candy). . . and that morning I was still wondering, do you "dress up" for this holiday, if you have absolutely no idea where you're going. It was str8 comedy when I sit back and think about it. . .but I made it through yall. . .WHEW!

This past weekend, the families met and merged. I mean it was so much hugging and nice to meet you going around, it was insane! They all really like each other. Who knew it would be like this? I would not even have guessed that such a thing could truly happen.

Went to a couples' dinner at Brio. And Brio is one of my all time favorite restaurants, even though it is a chain. But man I love it. In St Louis it was nothing for me and my girls to meet at Brio on a Friday night and chat it up over lobster bisque, calamari, chocolate desserts and Peach Bellinis for hours and hours. I had not been literally since the weekend that I moved away from STL. So naturally I was excited.

So Brio is in the South Park area of Charlotte. And maybe it was the tint of my skin, the thickness of my lips. . .I dunno. . .but it was the most horrible service that I had ever received. I mean this was the first time for some of the couples dining in a place like this. . .and now. . . unfortunately, I'm sure they won't go back. I mean when you see a large group of "us" why does it cause mass confusion, why is there an automatic 'tude from this little waitress. Why do they try to play you like you're dumb. . . oh no my friend, you have come up against the wrong one. So while I'm fuming, trying to ignore the subtle rude remarks. . .my cousin Kim is worse and on it. . . before I realized it chick had already talked to the manager and handled it. Pretty soon we had all 3 managers at the table, along with the 2 waiters giving me the service that I was paying for. I tell ya. . . it's was a dog on shame! And just because they were rude, I didn't even tell them that they'd left my lobster bisque off the ticket. . . Take that!!!!

Weekend. . .

Do you ever need one of those weekends with nothing pressing to do or places to go? That was this weekend for me. Nothing was urgent or "needed" to be done! I loved it! It was such a wonderful day. I mean 60-70 degree weather. . . in February. Who could ask for anything more . . .
Tomorrow it's back to the J-O-B. . . work is really for the birds. I mean don't get me wrong things are going very well for me at CMC. . .but man I don't like my schedule. I have to work some nights this week and then this weekend coming up. Scheduling sucks. . .but I guess this is the life of a hospital pharmacist for now. . .

Meet the Fam'

So the day for boo-boo-skoo-boo to meet the fam came and went. Not all the fam but the criticals. My cousin and her family along with my mother. I sat back and observed like I was in the twilight zone. I mean my family has been dying to come here to meet him b/c they felt like they were missing out. But our schedules just did not permit. So we went to them! Talk about excited. I don't know who was more nervous him or them. I mean from my cousin talking about catering a meal to him and his many outfit changes. . .someone was bound to get on my last nerves. So the simple solution for what to do with our time. . .go support the kids. So we went to see my little cousin play b-ball with the church league. Man Who Knew! You would have thought this was the NBA playoffs. I mean with the cheating referees, the cursing from a few fans (. . .did I mention this was the church league. . .) it was str8 comedy. So at first he played it cool like ok this is cute. The next thing I know he's yelling and screaming with my family. I was looking like what in the world. . .
So then we went to have "lunch/afternoon meal" with the fam. Per Jordyn's request, we must play games after eating. So she pulls out like 2 or 3 games ready to go. I had agreed to play UNO but somehow those UNO cards never surfaced. We ended up playing some random "slap" imitation UNO game of which boo-boo-skoo-boo was able to make up some rules, much to little Jordyn's delight.
We were even able to swing by PF Chang to meet Adrienne and Brian. The two of them were super crunk. I mean excited to be out with two other adults! Hilarious!
All in all it turned out to be a great day. I mean there were a number of times that I just looked over at him and just smiled! Man! Who knew there'd be days like this?

Vacay!!!

Cloud 9. . .

I have been off work for the past 2 days. . . and it was WONDERFUL! I mean for real I had the most fabulous time doing whatever I wanted to do today. I mean everyone else was at work and those who weren't . . .I didn't really worry about. I was walking through the mall today thinking. . . if I could do this a few times per month I probably would be aight. I went to the VS Semi-Annual Sale, picked up a few new pieces, then went to Sephora, stopped in Bath & Body Works. . . not really looking for much, not looking to spend much. Just enjoying the fruits of my labor.
Last night was also wonderful. I had a dental procedure yesterday so I didn't want to do much of anything. So my sweetie called. . .asked me what I wanted to do and all I wanted was a movie, a pizza and some QT. And that's what I got! Lovely fo' sho'! We watched the Perfect Stranger with Halle Berry. . . a pretty good movie I might add.
So today I was able to think of what I wanted to say to my faithful readers about my sweetie. Things are going well. . .much better than that . . . but that's the best word to describe it. I mean we're good. Happy with each other, happy with the way things are going. . .just really dang Happy! LOL. I mean in the past month we've crossed a lot of milestones so it's only flowing. I mean we're letting things naturally progress. Not much effort is going into it. . .which is what's so dang crazy. I mean this is the person that I've been the most honest, most comfortable with ever. I mean honestly. . .I'm not one much for game. I don't really have a lot of time to come up with lies to cover up things. I am just as Mary suggested. . .letting him take me as I am. I had to step away a long time ago and let God handle this one. B/c early on I saw that this was totally out of my hangs.
John Legend described us best in his song. . . "So High". . . good stuff I tell ya. . .good stuff!

Whew!!!!

Have you ever had so much going on that you just can't put them into words? I have so much to say that It's overwhelming. So let me get my thoughts together. . .and I'll be right back!

So I just added a pic to a previous entry. . .that's a neat thing that you can do . . .I like it!

What a Day!!!

So I met the fam yall!!!! Yeah it was a Christmas party where a good sizable portion of the fam was there. Including Mr. Dad! Whew talk about nervous. It was a semi formal event . . .and while I have been know to do my thang with that. . .I was still quite nervous to say the least. So for about 2 weeks prior to the event, I emailed a pic of the dress to my friends in STL to get their opinion. . . was this a cute dress, would I look plain or too much like a little girl, will my "girls" be showing too much. The consensus was to go with the less revealing dress for this meeting. So that worked. . .then I had to find new shoes . . . why new shoes. . . well the styles have changed since I wore the dress last and I needed something to make me feel fierce. So I went to Belk on a random Sunday afternoon and found a killer pair of peep toe pumps for only $29 (on clearance of course). . . I was SUPER CRUNK. My next task was my hair. I mean I can't rock the weaves (unless I can get my hair from the same place that Beyonce gets hers --- shout out to Jenn). . .And I had just tried a new stylist. But I made the appointment anyway and girlfriend hooked me up. I walked out of there like dang! Got my eyebrows waxed (for the 1st time, I used to let my hair stylist do them and she used a razor), got my nails did, my pedi. . . so I dressed up and was FIERCE honey!!!!
He was so impressed, so pleased, so shocked. . .to say the least. I mean we got a lot of compliments and I will have to say that we did look great. . . together even better!
The fam was great. Really down to earth (country) people. And things went well. . . much better than that actually. So we've made it past this killer step. His fam.
Next up. . .my fam. I mean the most "critical" person is my cousin Kim and he's won her over and she hasn't even met him yet. . . so we'll see!
BTW. . . I am down 5lbs. . .to my 10 lbs goal by 1/13/08. . . Smooches!

Another day. . .

Not much is happening new/different from my last post. I mean things are still going well with my "baby boy" (shout out to Jendi. . .I like that phrase, I think I'll use it). I mean things are still going GREAT. Progressing every day, every week . . . so we'll see. It's hard though. I mean just last night, he said to me. . .let's do dinner tomorrow. . .my response was. . . don't you have to do something at church? Simple right. No big deal. . . but it was a big deal. One of my friend's husbands told me a while ago and more recently that me and his wife (my dear line sister) are just alike. When asked a question, we answer the question with a question. And men are simple, don't want a lot of details, and don't necessarily want to be hounded with a lot of questions. But to me, I just wanted clarification. Is anything wrong with that. . . I mean gosh. We didn't have an argument but I did sense a little frustration on his part. His response. . . I got this. . .my bad dude. . .do what you do. I'll just take my free dinner date!!! Shoot, I like to eat out ANYWAY! LOL!
Work is going well. There are still some changes within the dept and one of them may be a position for me. . .I'll keep ya posted.
So I started my FAT SMASH, COLON CLEANSE, 10lb weight loss goal officially today. I'm doing a combination of things to "jump start" or kick through this plateau. I mean when I set the 10 lb goal, coincidentally, when I got on the scale the next day I was already down 4 from where I thought I was. . . so does that count. I mean yes last week was Thanksigiving. But I didn't pig out, I never do, I mean I didn't exercise either but I think I'm still cool. I am doing a colon cleanse to help a little bit. Not one of those super duper ones where you see floating things/bugs/nasty stuff. . .just a simple one .. .it's mostly fiber and senna. And while I haven't been "going" all day long, I feel it working. Flatulence is off the hook (if you really wanted to know). So I'll be doing the 9 day Detox of the Fat Smash diet & the colon cleanse until Tuesday of next week. Wish me luck, I hope I can make it. I can usually do well during the week, it's the weekends that kill me. But if I mess up too bad, my exercise regimen should help out a bit. I"ll let you know how it goes!
Tonight though I'm going to have to get a salad. I"m not really one of those who do the salad thing to be cute. . .but hey I gotta try to stick to my guns!!!!

8 Weeks - 10 lbs????

Okay so exactly 8 weeks to the day I'll be on a cruise with some other fly sistas. And while my exercise/weight loss regimen is working. I wanna up the ante for myself. Scientific research shows that on average a person can lose ~2 lbs per week healthily. So 10 lbs in 8 weeks takes 2 major food holidays into consideration. And honestly the holidays have never really been a big issue for me b/c I'm not a big soul food eater. I mean I'll dabble . . . but I don't particularly look forward to the dry turkey, stuffing, etc. I mean don't get me wrong when I had Tgiving dinner w/ my girl from New Orleans she took things to a whole 'nother level. But I have been able to maintain and honestly lose during the holiday season.
So I went to Talbots the other day b/c it was an outlet store and I wanted to see if they had some work slacks that I could consider taking home. But instead I saw a couple of skirts. So I tried to play the. . .let's see what fits game. . . I took in a size 10 and a size 12. Now people let's take into consideration that I don't remember the last time I've EVER tried on a size 10 w/ a str8 face. So I tried it one. . .over the thighs, over the stomach. . . huh.. . go figure. I could rock this. . .probably not 'comfortably' as I'd like but I could if it was the last one in the store. So that's triggered my motivation. I would love to say that I'm a size 10 or even a size 8. (If I'm down to a size 8 just go ahead and start rolling your eyes b/c you won't be able to tell me nutin' and that's WORD). But I was really happy and have a renewed motivation. So much that I went to the gym at my apt complex and did 30 min on the elliptical. I mean I will be "spinning" tomorrow. . .but this is gonna be a short week. And not to mention my spinning instructor told me to try adding ~30 min of cardio prior to the class. . . now that's committment b/c that adds time to my schedule. But for 8 weeks I can give it a try.
So my fellow avid blog readers. . .wish me luck. The last time I lost 10 lbs in a month was about 2 years ago and I wrote down EVERYTHING that I ate and counted every calorie religiously. So it's completely doable. I'll tell my sweetie my goal. He'll probably be all over me about it. . .it's all about accountability. So if I get my 2 readers, him, my spinning instructor involved. . .something should happen right. (So maybe I should hold off on getting those pants altered. . .just in case ;)

Time Flies. . .

So it's been a minute. . . a new month. So it's time for me to say suntin'.
Things are going quite well in the QC. My job is going great. I've gotten excellent feedback from my supervisors, directors, etc. Which is always a good thing.
I'm about to renew my lease for 6 more months. I'm not really in the mood to go "househunting" again. I feel like I just moved. Even though I didn't have to pack a thing when I moved out here but still. . . it takes mental stamina.
Things with Mr. Man are going great. I'm happy to report. I think that's a contributing factor for things going well in the QC. He actually lives in a suburb of Charlotte so we don't get to see each other every second of every free minute that we have. Which is a good thing? (Makes the heart grow fonder) But it does infringe on my phone time. I mean back in the day I would sit on the phone listening to you breathe all night long. But now I'm like you're tired, cool, me too. . .holla at me tomorrow. No harm no foul. I'm mean I'm all for a good quality conversation. It's partly b/c of my job. I'm regularly paged or called for something. So the ringing of the phone gets on my last nerve. Tonight I met his daughter (his new puppy. . .lol). We bonded in case you were wondering. I think she gave her stamp of approval. Next comes the fam. Whew it's a lot. It's a different scenario now that I'm back in NC. I mean while in STL a man could technically hide out from my friends and family for a good 6 mos to a year. But both sides are asking questions and both sides are like aight. . .bring 'em out bring 'em out! I'll let you know.
Tomorrow is my BFF from HS's wedding/cruise/weekend. We're supposed to go to the Bahamas. But with all this hurricane madness who knows where we'll stop. Oh well. I've got my books, my bible, my journal, my IPOD, and my sunglasses. . .so I'm ready to relax. Shoot we could stay on the boat for the entire 3 days . . .as long as I can relax and have some good ol' chill time. I'm cool!
Tootles!

My Weekend/Week

Not much has been going on lately. I've been hanging out with Mr. Man a bit more. That's actually going really well right now. I'll keep you posted.
I went to a bridal shower this past weekend. It was a last minute shower and I think some of the communications from the bride weren't clear enough. We all have expectations of what we "want" when it's our turn. But if you have never in your entire life communicated this information to those you love then . . .beggars can't be choosy. I mean I did the girly stuff that I'm known for and it was a big hit. . . (of course ;). . . but the things done by her mother weren't received too well and I think she was a bit frustrated.
So from this point forward I'm going to recommend to all my friends that when it comes to your wedding. . .say EXACTLY what you mean and mean EXACTLY what you say.
Went to a Ruby Tuesday for the first time in ages this past Friday. It was a last minute quick stop, we weren't really dressed in our best so we were like we can run in here w/o any problems. Man they have this dish called the Chicken Bella. . .it was great. I was really pleasantly surprised.
I also went to see Why Did I Get Married on Thursday. I mean I was really impressed. I knew I was going to like it but I had no idea that I'd like it that much. I mean I laughed, I cried (got misty), cheered, got pissed, pondered. . I mean those few hours evoked so many emotions. Kinda felt like we were a part of all the relationships. Which one of the characters would you be? Honestly I think I'm the Janet character. I mean I would say Jilly from Philly b/c of the weight thing (I still have issues that I had to be reminded weren't mine to have but I still felt like I needed to stick up for the big girl inside of me). Who would you be?

Thoughts

This is probably going to reflect responses and more comments to my avid readers. . .

Jenn Will. . . Ummm . . .can we get an update or something? I mean if I see Sept 18th on ur blog again I may scream.

J.A.C. . .who is Thesis. He is an avid reader and responder on your blog. Just an observation. Does he live in the QC too? When are you moving? The ATL vs. CLT debate. Both are equally great places to be right now. It's moreso what you're looking for. ATL is getting a bit crowded and traffic will be similar (maybe not as bad) as LA. But the atmosphere has evolved and it's doing it's thing. CLT is still a baby city---it's new and is rising to its peak. Exciting place to be right now. It's changed a lot within the last 2-3 years. And it doesn't seem to have been affected by the mortgage crisis, there is still a steady stream of people coming in and out of the city.

So I got the book that the girl who writes -B-More Bap- recommended. "Get Yours" It's by the previous editor in chief of Honey magazine. And while I was the first to buy and put down some Iyanla Vanzant stuff back in the day (I just couldn't finish not a one of her books), this one by Amy Dubois Barnett is a bit different. MUCH easier to read. Not about the philosophical principles behind decisions. But more of a . . .this is what worked for me. And it was pretty good advice so she decided to share it. Easy read. I like it. And I'm probably going to give it as a gift to a few people in the next few mos.

I guess an update is necessary about Mr. Minister man. Okay so I've gone out with him. Put on a cute 'fit. . .lip gloss poppin'. . .and my wall up (I'm trying to get out of that habit). But he is/was determined to knock that thing down. At the end of the day, my hang ups weren't his and probably weren't warranted. Are we going out, laughing like crazing, talking on the regular. . .yeah. . . it's cool to be on an poppin again. So we'll see, you know that first 6 weeks are "honeymoon" times. Everything is cool, we're on our best behavior. And I know you're going to say, don't expect or look for the worst. But I am trying to be realistic in my expectations. Just living & loving life for what it has for me and all the possibilities! That's all!

Well it's my weekend to work, so I'll be MIA until Monday or so. I was supposed to respond to the emails about the workouts. Mine are still going strong. Spinning, jogging . . . just added so weights back. I HATE weights. If I could do cardio all day I would. But I know that's not realistic. I am trying to fit a "B-Risque" class into my routine. You know, learn a little pole dancing technique while strengthing my core. I need a fun class to add to my routine. I'm looking for a dance class maybe, but I don't know where to start.

Me. . .With Him?

So the latest version of my saga called life now includes a new guy. Nothing serious, just talk. But from the beginning I convinced myself over and over again as to the reasons why this guy is not for me. I'll start with a few of the majors:
He's 25.
He lives in a small town about 20-30 min from Charlotte, his hometown, and ain't planning to go anywhere.
He's seriously looking for a wife.
He's a MINISTER. . .
The last one is the one that's got me bugging. I mean we all want a man of "like minded faith." That head of household, the man who knows God well enough to find you, you know that man that the Bible talks about. But at the end of the day. . .could you do it, could you date someone who thus far (as I can see it) is committed to HIM. I mean, no clubs, no "sips" of Patron, church almost everyday of the week. . .you get the point.
It's a lot and honestly a bit overwhelming when we had the first convo. I had crossed him off the list.
But then. . .he called back. . .repeatedly. At work today (oh yeah he has a job) proceeded to come into my "office space" 2 or 3 times just to chat, as I'm leaving we pass each other, I do my normal "2 fingers" and he's like hold on. No pressure points with any of this. . .just enough to think, maybe I shouldn't write him off before I give him a chance.
I just thought it was interesting. I had to "check" myself about my actions. I mean to any other chick, dude is probably a good catch. So I'm gonna do better. Not have the stank attitude, not send his calls to voicemail. Just pray for me yall.

'Da Weekend

So it's the weekend and there is/was a lot of things going on in Charlotte. It's times like these that I realize that I need a "roadie." You know the one who you can call and she's always down. Unfortunately for me I don't really have that here in the QC. So last night Raheem Devaughn was in town so I was crunk about going. But I didn't have ANYBODY to call and say hey do you wanna roll. And I wasn't really in the mood to do it solo. Sometimes, but not yet! What do you do in that situation? Should I have sucked it up and gone alone? So I called one of my girlfriends who's married with a baby and asked did they want to go to dinner. You know. . .let's just get out of the house on a Friday night. Her solution was for me to leave my house/couch/DVR to come over to her house, sit on her couch, and catch up on their DVR. . . ummm. . .thx for the invite, but really no thanx. That wasn't exactly what I looking for. I need just one. One who doesn't always wanna tear the club up, but can go to a chill spot, have a drink, listen to some music and just be cute! That's all I wanted to do. . .
Thursday night I tried hanging with some girls of another color. . . Hannah is cool as a cat. But her friends. .. NAW DAWG!!! So Hannah invited me to her house for drinks, dinner and Grey's Anatomy. Cool no biggie. When I showed up at the door, the look of sheer horror that one of her friends had on her face made me realized that I should have kept my booty at home. I think she was so shocked to see me, not that she was rude or anything but her comfort level was evident in her body language. Oh well, maybe one day Hannah and I can hang out sometimes but she may need to refrain from bringing a few others.
I mean I'm multicultural and can roll w/ pretty much anyone, but I need you to be the same way. Unfortunately, everyone isn't there yet.
I think I'm going to put an ad in the newspaper or on craig's list for a new friend. The one who's not into one particular thing. Likes to try new stuff, do some of the norm, roll to the fish shack for catfish, Brio for bellini's & lobster bisque, cop that new Kanye joint, sing loud to Chrisette, shake her booty like 'B, pump that new Jay. . . I think you get the point!!!!

FAB-U-LOUS!

So this week I've had the opportunity (???) to reconnect with several past classmates, schoolmates etc. And I'm realizing as my "still true" friend from HS pointed out. . .it's okay to outgrow relationships. You don't have to feel bad for the sudden lapse in communication and you're not obligated to keep in touch when you do see them again.
So this past weekend I bit the bullet and visited a girl who I used to be really close to. But within the past I'll say 2-3 years we have grown apart. At this vist I realized why we no longer talk. It was the "air" about her as if she was steadily putting others down to put herself on or reach a pedestal. I mean everything I mentioned or suggested was shot down. And it seemed to me that I was only allowed in her presence 1) b/c I no longer live there, 2) live in the city of her dreams, 3) am a professional & 4) b/c she liked my car. Now I am not one to look down on myself at all and I do realize that my life is not the norm. But with that realization I know that things could have gone another way. And me looking down on others will do nothing for me. It's not my responsibility to try to change anyone if they are perfectly happy with their lives.
Second situation, so at my reunion, this dude from HS kept saying. . .dayum u look good, etc etc. . .(Thanks ;)) But ummm. . .no thanks. I"m not really interested in what you're offering up. 1st of all 3 kids, no wife, (nuff said). 2nd of all. . . did yall just go outside to smoke some weed. . . Okay you get the picture. But as result of writing my email down to update everyone's files, I got a random, wassup email from this dude today. . . Lord Lord Lord.
Okay so I finally succumbed to myspace and I've been quite pleased to be able to keep in contact with several old friends and acquaintances. But recently it seems like myspace has caught on in Eastern NC so I'm getting all these random "friend requests" from people who I never considered my friend. Ummm. . .are you serious? It moreso those being nosy b/c my page is "private" and only viewed by those that I add. But this girl who I have NEVER gotten along with sent me a message. . .come on now. . .be for real. Why? Let's not even go there. But I did get a message from this girl who I was always cool with, no harm no foul, so I let her in, and she was like girl you look Fab-u-lous (hence the title of this message). Thanks!!!!
My weekend all in all was as to be expected. Did I have a GREAT time, I can't say that. But it was what I expected it to be. . .I mean should you really have high expectations when it's a BYOB affair at a location named The Banquet Room, b/c there is no official name of the building. Just an old club that they rent out now. Oh well!
North Edgecombe High School of Science Math & Technology helped me to become all that I am! So hey I still gotta have a little Warrior Pride!

WOW

http://renaissanceblackwoman.blogspot.com/2007/09/my-letter-to-lauryn.html

I saw her in concert once and it was truly AWESOME! She has a gift. I mean she was all over that stage.

Just thoughts. . .

So exercise affords me the opportunity to let things dance around in my head. So while in spinning yesterday, I was thinking about how much fun it was to go to the gym. .. in St Louis. Why is that, isn't Ballys still Ballys. So I started to think on my time there and what's different. When it hit me, things weren't always that way.
My 1st year in STL I was a pharmacy resident making about 1/4 of my salary now, with numerous projects/responsibilities and also working part time to make some more $$$. So that first year, I mostly worked, went to church, went to the gym here and there, had some Delta responsibilities, and traveled a bit more back and forth to the east coast.
Right after my residency, I bought a house. What did this do. . make me sit my happy tail down in the Midwest a bit more and grounded me a whole lot more. I think that's when I started developing my "crews" and I think I had a steady man in my life. Yeah that was Mr. . . well his name's no longer important. But he was a native of 'da 'Lou and knew the ins and outs, dos and don'ts so we did a lot of things. Gave me an appreciation for the MO and being there, etc.
Yeah I think a man definitely helps you settle into a new city. While I do have friends here in CLT, things have changed, we don't all like to do the same things and I'm not always excited about going out by myself. I mean there is no one waiting/expecting me at the gym. No class (other than spinning) that I look forward to. Just a building with some bikes and good music. No one is waiting for me on Saturday morning to go on a long run. . . so maybe that's why I turn the alarm clock off and roll over.
Last night there was a spoken word thing down in the NoDa district. I thought that would be cool, but I was thinking that none of the people who I've hung out with or talked to have mentioned this. Why don't they go? Just wondering, well I wasn't in the mood to do the solo thing so I kicked back here at the crib and chilled. It's okay to do sometimes, right.
So I said all that to say that my thoughts in the gym were good. It's okay to not have my social calendar jammed packed S-Sat. It took me 4 years to get all that in STL so why am I expecting so much more within 4 months. I actually sat down and wrote out a time line of the past 4 years. Truth be told, I didn't do much out of the norm for well over a year and a half after I graduated.
I related this to my generation and how we want things RIGHT NOW. Can't wait. Gotta have the big furnished house like our parents/grandparents had. Not realizing it took them 20-30 years to have that themselves (some of them). Gotta have the big body truck like they have, when hell they're almost 10 years older than us. Gotta have that huge savings accout for retirement (I mean it's important to save) but you gotta eat too.
So things are still good! It's okay! So yeah the man will come. I don't have to move out of my apartment tomorrow ( I only did a 6 month lease in anticipation for buying another house, but right now I just don't feel like it--I LOVE my location, just gotta get rid of the guy across the parking lot, too dang loud), and I don't have to go to every happy hour, party, or social event in Charlotte. I've got plenty of time.

Back. . n full effect?. . .

So V is back on the grind. It was GREAT to be away last week. I only went to STL to visit but I didn't take a thing related to work or "real life" with me. I took 3 books, some magazines, and planned to do what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. And I did just that.
Today being back in reality was a huge wake up call. At 9am I had to step away from the computer, go get some breakfast, take a walk, pray, and regroup. MAN! I almost made a "huge" mistake at work but prayerfully everything worked out. But I hate that feeling.
But I did realize that I didn't particularly "want" to be at work today. Have u ever wondered if you could be one of those people who just walk away from their jobs and everything just because. I mean still be able to pay some bills, but take some true true true "ME" time. My job doesn't exactly provide that right now. I mean at ESI the flexibility that I had allowed me to really enjoy my last year and a half in 'da Lou. Flex schedules are the absolute BOMB. They don't exist so much in pharmacy and I was very spoiled to have found one at such an early age. But to everything there is a season right.
I mean I prayed and asked for guidance about my move. And it's been confirmed over and over again that . . . it was time. I mean little things like selling my house when NOTHING else in my neighborhood was selling, finding a company to come move me. . .for free (I mean send people to come pack everything and drive it here), the financial blessings that I'm experiencing, less financial stress, being closer to the fam (my mom doesn't call nearly as much, I think she's much more comfy with me being at least in the same state or on the east coast). So I'm just chilling right now, waiting and keeping a watchful eye for what's next to come.
I think about all the fabulous things that are going on in my friends' lives right now. And it's truly amazing. I brag about them all the time. I mean really I have had the opportunity to interact and bump heads with some for real good people. I mean from the West, MidWest, East, South. . . man my friends have it going on. . .
I'd like to think that they feel the same way about me. I was telling one of my pharmacy friends tonight that she's is my personal HIV/ID specialist. I was like girl you have done the dang thing. She was like ummm. . .don't sell urself short. Don't forget what you've done. I did for a minute. But she's right. Professionally, I think I have that Jay Z swagger. I usually have the "show me what you got" attitude!
I just need to show the social side a bit more in Charlotte. . . but it's pretty dang hard if you're hardly ever here on the weekends. Man I gotta stay put sometimes.
This weekend I have to work, next weekend gotta go to my class reunion, the next weekend the fam wants me to go to DC, then the next is Adrienne's b-day party in Durham. . . I sound like I have a social calendar of some sort. . . WHEW. . . it's a lot going on. Oh well gotta make it do what it do!