Why?

Living alone gives me the opportunity to think A LOT! I think about life, plans for the future, my past, etc. Sometimes I wonder if I think too much!
So this past weekend was my weekend to work. I was dog tired yesterday. But I came home took a nap and was GOOD after that. So I called a long list of people that I hadn't spoken to in a minute. . .One person being. . . SB. What happened. . .str8 to voicemail, so I left a msg but did I get a return call, email. . . Hell no! WTF. . .what is that about? When did I start being sent str8 to VM, can u block phone numbers/calls on Cingular? Who knows and at this point who the fuck cares! I am so done with that b/c that's straight up rude and shady as hell. Be a fucking man about yours if you're not interested just say it. You attract more flies with honey . . .so peace be gone!
So Thursday I sent a txt msg to an old faithful in STL. I was like so are you too good to talk to me now that I'm no longer living in STL. He called immediately and reminded me that i hadn't responded to his emails, txt msgs or calls (ooops. . .all of which were sent when I was all up on SB). I COMPLETELY disregarded how much of a sick puppy he resembled upon my departure from STL, at my going away dinner, his last day of seeing me, and his phone calls prior to me leaving. Did I completely disregard it b/c he's been so slow in expressing his interest? Did I disregard it b/c I have questioned whether or not he could ever measure up to be the man for me. . .be it spiritually & financially? Should I have disregarded his advances? Makes me kinda wonder. So he let on a few of his apprehensions last night (Oh yeah, he answered my call). . . he was like I talked to much to other people. . .I'm like ummm no I didn't say anything that was top secret. If it came to the serious point then I would not have said anything that's for damn sure. But the way I see it is as long as we're just shooting the shit. . .it doesn't really matter one way or the other. Right?
I'm really starting to like this blogging thing, I think I've posted more this month than ever before.
So old Faithful (as we'll call him) is going on vacation in a couple of weeks. He was like I dunno, I might come see you. . . strangely enough I was thinking I need a visit from an old friend. No issues with being myself, just someone to make me laugh and we can hang. Now I wish I had paid for a cabin alone for Meechy's wedding. He would have been a good homie to go with me. . . oh well, maybe we can do something later. . .maybe he'll man up and want to become more than a homie! But the question still remains can he be the man for me? He's gotten a promotion at ESI, he's back in school (for real this time), has a house, no kids, a good paying job, not as commited to the Lord as I'd like, but he knows him, he's no fool! I'll just have to pray for him! Sure wish someone would be praying for me!