So it's been exactly 13 days. . .2 weeks tomorrow and I haven't talked to SB. Strange scenario for someone who was feeling me so much. I mean . . .WHAT IN THE WORLD! I tried not writing anything down about it, tried not to address the hurt, pain, and disappointment but MAN. . . I feel like I can't get a break in the relationship department. It's been a very long time since I've had someone to truly call my own. Walley was the last closest thing to it and he wasn't even that. I just don't understand it. It's so uncomfortable (I won't say frustrating b/c I really am very happy for ALL my friends) but with everyone close to me making wedding plans, having bridal showers, weddings, babies. . .and then there's me all left in the corner. It's even more uncomfy b/c my thoughts and conversations are inundated with it. My family doesn't know what to think. My friends are sad for me. And me I'm just left sitting here wondering what's wrong.
I mean I know that I am abundantly blessed and I truly believe that I am a true virtuous woman. I just really want that Man for me to find me. I feel like with SB we were "unequally yoked" and little by little it was revealed to me. But I did feel like he was a great person with great potential . . . so I didn't drop him by the waste side. . . I just prayed that God would become the head of his life. I prayed for him, I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to minister unto him and bring him to Christ. . if not for me, but for himself. So I didn't understand why he's just "disappeared" from my life.
Who knows, will I ever know. . .understand. . . I don't know!
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who am I not to be? Marianne Williamson, 1993
4 comments:
Its like all men attended the same school of "How to break up with a woman leaving her scorned, resentful and confused in three easy steps". Like there is this super secret seminar put on by BET right after Uncut that teaches men how to flip to a completely different person at the moment least expected and most likely to leave women with the most unanswered questions.
Oh but i'm not bitter, or speaking from experience or anything... :)
You know. . . what's so hard about telling the truth. Ignoring me gets u no points, lying to me gets me no points. . .so why do either!
"I just don't understand it. It's so uncomfortable (I won't say frustrating b/c I really am very happy for ALL my friends) but with everyone close to me making wedding plans, having bridal showers, weddings, babies. . .and then there's me all left in the corner. It's even more uncomfy b/c my thoughts and conversations are inundated with it. My family doesn't know what to think. My friends are sad for me. And me I'm just left sitting here wondering what's wrong.
I mean I know that I am abundantly blessed and I truly believe that I am a true virtuous woman. I just really want that Man for me to find me."
These are your words Vick but its like you took them right out of my mouth. I have been with Mr. longer than most before they jumped the broom. We have been through SOOOOO much and I wonder if WE are ever going to reach that point? I know he is the one sent for me but when will my day come, whether it's with him or not?
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